Bonus content: Interview with my dear sister, a main character in You’re Too Young to Understand.

As my sister, you are a big character in the book, particularly in the second half. For many families, published memoirs can cause serious conflict.

How comfortable were you being a character in someone else’s memoir? What went through your head when I told you I was going to publish the book?

You know I’m a relatively private person. It takes me a long time to build enough trust to open up about myself. For example, I’ll quietly follow other people on social media, but I rarely share much of my own life there. So it’s probably not surprising that I felt some ambivalence about you publishing the book where I would be one of the main characters.

At the same time, I kept coming back to that walk we took on the beach after Dad died, when we talked about how our story might help other people. I also knew how much this book meant to you. So, it didn't take me long to come to a place of acceptance.

Were there scenes you wanted me to take out, because they didn’t line up with your memories or because you didn’t like how you or someone else was portrayed?

If anything, I think you portrayed me generously—and I appreciated that. There weren’t any scenes involving me that I felt uncomfortable with or wished you had handled differently. I initially struggled with the early Dad scenes during his worst drinking years, but again, I came to terms with that being exposed as it was an essential part of your memoir.  And I appreciated that your description of his redemption in the second half of the book.  That part wouldn't have fit into the memoir without the reader understanding what he overcame. 

How did my memoir impact your processing of our family dynamics?

Your memoir—and the many conversations we had about each of our memories and your book as you were writing it—of course, brought back a lot of memories that had been buried and sharpened ones that had started to blur.  While some of it was painful temporarily, it didn't have a lasting negative impact on me; quite the opposite.  It helped me value more thoroughly what we had accomplished despite the odds.  It also helped with my understanding of your experience - made me more aware, and more appreciative, of how our family dynamics shaped you, my seestor.